I don’t really like myself. You know how you have that person in your life that you swear you’ll never be like. While I’ve turned into that person. I hated this person growing up. I couldn’t wait to get away from them.
But now that I’ve grown up, I’m just like that person. For awhile I thought it was me against the world. Everything I failed I’d hear that person telling me to get up, that if I quit now I’ll be a quitter for the rest of my life.
That why I started looking for a better way to motivation myself, degrading myself wasn’t working. That when I found self-compassion that first time I hear about it I thought I was something that weak people needed to make themselves feel better. And in a way that truth, but aren’t we all weak at something? Don’t we all need compassion at some point in our lives?
I never gotten the all emotion support I need from someone else. I don’t know why I always what someone else to give me what I need. Especially when I can give it to myself.
I started meditation about 3 months ago. At first it was to help with my depression( I was willing to try anything). I started with JBitterSweet’s 30 day meditation, I told myself that if I felt better after 30 days I keep going.
Unfortunately, JbitterSweet doesn’t have a self compassion meditation. But I found one with a quick search. Before I was through with the meditation I was crying. I never realized how emotional hurt I was before. This life is hard, but I’m going to survive.